Synopsis: A reporter and her cameraman cover a breakout of violence around a church. As they interview various refugees from the war zone, they find out that it is a church war. A titanic battle of the wills is being waged between members who disagree on trivial details. Neither side wins, and the church splits in two. A defeated and wounded party of survivors, led by the pastor, are inspired by a child to return and rebuild what has been lost.

Characters: Reporter Pamela Parfay, Cameraman Chuck, Refugee #1, who is young man; Refugee #2, who is an older man, Refugee #3, who is an older woman; the Pastor, a Little Girl, and mixed age/gender group of 5-6 people, more or less according to your cast.

If you wish to add more characters to accomodate a larger cast, you may have two people come up at a time for any of the refugees, and divide the lines of the one character between them. Such as Refugee #1, could be a young couple. Same with each of the other refugees, according to their age group. But they are really written to be individuals.

Costumes: Pamela is dressed nicely, befitting her TV status. But the refugees from the war zone can be dressed in torn or ragged clothes, as if they have been through a battle. The pastor is wearing gauze bandages on his head and has an arm in a makeshift sling. Others can wear similar evidences of being treated for wounds in a hurry.

Setting: No special background is needed. The setting is outside, but the warfare around the church in the distance is only heard (via the soundtrack CD effects mentioned below) but not seen.

NOTE: Your actors deliver the dialog and you play the background music and effects tracks as listed in the script to enhance your performance.

Soundtrack: As always, the specially-recorded soundtrack will make your performance of this skit script much funnier, professional, and effective. The music and sound effects for this script are on the Combo Package #12 CD, along with the tracks for "The Trials of Rev. Milton Blumquist." Order it on the Soundtracks Page, or click here: Add CD #12 To Cart

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NOTE: Track #20 on the Soundtrack CD is 15 minutes of continuous background fighting effects. This should be recorded to a cassette and played in the background, and the specific effects played from the CD as called for in the script.)

"War of the Wills"
by Fred Passmore
Copyright 2007 Sheep Laughs Publications

(Begin Track #15: Open music with battleground sounds.)
(ALSO: begin the tape of Track #20, (mentioned above) and let it play in the background until specified later.)

(Enter the reporter, Pamela Parfay, who hurriedly moves to the middle of the stage, reacting to the gunfire and blasts with concern for her safety, but determined to deliver the news. She surveys the scene, then waves urgently to her partner.)

Pamela: (Shouting offstage.) Chuck! Over here, I've found a good place to cover the action!

(Chuck, the camera man, runs onstage carrying the camera. He is in a half-crouch, as if trying to stay low.)

Chuck: (Glancing up at the explosions overhead.) Man, what a battle! I can't believe this kind of conflict could erupt right here in the middle of town!

Pamela: From the looks of things, I think it's only going to get worse. The casualties are going to be enormous!

Chuck: (Looking around with caution.) Do you think this is a safe place to do the broadcast?

Pamela: When a war like this breaks out, no-where is safe. (Shielding her eyes, she looks toward the left of the stage.) But most of the fighting seems to be taking place around that church.

Chuck: (Standing up straighter to view the situation, he looks in the same direction.) Yeah, you're right. I can see the opposing camps from here. There's one on each side of the church building.

Chuck: (Making an adjustment to the camera as he moves into position.) Gettin' there. (He hands her the microphone, which is on a cable attached to the camera.)

(Pamela moves back some, facing stage right, with Chuck facing stage left, aiming the camera at her. She holds the mic up, and waits on her cue from Chuck. With his free hand he points at her.)

Pamela: This is Pamela Parfay, reporting live for WWWW TV. We're on the scene of the previously reported disturbance, which you can see is still raging behind me. The violence which has broken out seems to be limited to the grounds surrounding the church, although we are still unable to determine the cause of the conflict. It could be anything from gang warfare to terrorists, but at this point we just don't know. Considering the attacks on the freedom of Christians to speak out concerning what the Bible says about sin, it's a good bet that the believers here are undergoing persecution for standing up for what they believe.

(A man, Refugee #1,runs onstage, stopping and looking around to make sure the coast is clear.)

Pamela: Just a moment... it seems we may have an eye-witness here. Excuse me, sir? May we speak to you?

(The man moves toward them and stops as Pamela approaches him with the microphone.)

Refugee #1: (Relaxing some.) Fine by me. Hurry up, though, I'm getting out of here.

Pamela: Thanks. First, who are you? Do you belong to the church where the combat is raging?

Refugee #1: No, I've just been visiting for a few months with my family. I sent them away for safety, but now it's time for me to get out before I'm shot by one side or the other. I'm not interested in joining the battle.

Refugee #1: Isn't it obvious? It's a church war! It started out small, just a minor disagreement about the color of the new carpet. Then the decision about the padding on the pews drew in more, and finally, the issue of the new songbooks versus the old hymnals broke out into full-scale battle! It stayed inside the doors for awhile, but now it's broken out into the open.

Refugee #1: The progressive camp is over by the children's play area, and the conservative camp is in the parking lot. The cars seem to be offering a better vantage point for protection and sniping than the slide and see-saws. The conservatives have the advantage of age, experience and money. But the progressive army has the advantages of youthful energy, stamina and ideas. It's hard to tell who will win; the battle is getting ugly but no-one seems to be gaining any ground. The church is taking the brunt of the artillary, it won't be standing much longer at this rate.

Pamela: So, this is about minor issues? How could that lead to all-out battle like we're seeing?

Refugee #1: Well, no-one wanted to listen to the other opinions. Everyone thought they were right, and when it comes to matters related to worship, there seems to be no compromise or middle ground. One thing's for sure, who-ever wins, there are going to be a lot of losses on both sides. The church itself could be destroyed by the fighting. Then where will they go?

Refugee #1: That's it, it's starting to spread out into the neighborhood. I'm getting out of here and never coming back. I wouldn't get too close if I were you, either side might start sniping at you! (He runs off, ducking and weaving.)

Pamela:(Turning back to the camera.) Well, we seem to have confirmation that the confict originated in the church, and threatens to engulf the surrounding homes. We're going to try to get closer and see if we can talk to some of the combatants and get the whole story.

(Another man, obviously wounded, staggers onstage toward them from behind Pam, from stage left. He is groaning and holding his side.)

Pamela: Sir! Please, I'm with the TV station, please tell us what's happening over on the front?

Refugee #2: (Stops and leans over to catch his breath, holding his side the whole time.) Just a minute while I get my second wind.

Pamela: We've been watching the battle from over here, but you came from the heart of the conflict. Whose side are you on?

Pamela: And what is your side fighting for? What are you hoping to accomplish here?

Refugee #2: We want to do God's will! And God's will is that we use His money wisely, and spend it on the best. His house should look and sound better than any of the other churches around! New carpeting, new songbooks, new padding in the pews, new everything! If you don't move forward, you're standing still!

Pamela: I'm a little confused here. If the other churches are also God's house, why are you trying to make them look bad by comparision?

Refugee #2: (Looking at her askance.) You ask the dumbest questions. Ours has to look better than the others to show that God is more pleased with us than them!

Refugee #2: Now, you're catching on! Financial blessings are a sure sign of God's approval. The more we spend to look and sound good, the more we show that we are making God happy, and that we're doing His will! And the more we do His will, the more money we'll have!

Pamela: That reasoning sounds a little circular. So you feel God is on your side and not the other?

Refugee #2: Of course He's on our side! Our side is the right side, and God is always with the right side, because He's always right! And with God, you're on the winning side!

Refugee #2: Well, we... (He does a double-take, then narrows his eyes at her suspiciously.) You must be from the enemy's camp.

Refugee #2: No, nuetral you cannot be. If you're not with us, you're against us! (He starts to back off and leave in the direction he was going.) Light can have no fellowship with darkness. Flee from the wrath to come! (He limps off holding his side, singing "Onward Christian Soldiers" as he leaves.) Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war, with the cross of Jesus, going on before!

Pamela: (Looking back at the camera.) As hard is it is to believe, the battle we are seeing isn't a result of an outside attack on the church, but a battle between members! The fighting is getting more intense, and the church building seems to be developing a huge crack right down the middle. This civil war is taking a terrible toll on the old house of God.

(Pamela and Chuck move over to her. Pamela kneels beside her and Chuck keeps the camera on them.)

Refugee #3: Oh, dear! My pride is taking a beating, and my testimony has been shot full of holes. My influence has been damaged, and my witness has been wounded!

Refugee #3: Oh, terrible. Half of the members that were on our side have fled, the cowards. They said they want to find a church where they can have peace. But who can have peace when the enemy won't leave well enough alone? We didn't start this war, but with God's help, we'll win.

Pamela: Are the reports accurate that a disagreement over carpet replacement is at the heart of the conflict?

Refugee #3: Oh, there are other issues, but it all started when those new people felt the old carpet wasn't good enough for them! Well, my great-granny cried tears of sorrow on that precious old carpet, and my mother, God rest her soul, kneeled in the same spot at the altar for 50 years. Those holes made in the rug by her knees is sacred ground!

Pamela: Now let me make sure I understand; you feel that the rug is more important than the people?

Refugee #3: Well, that's a ridiculous question. Of course it is! People come and go, honey, but the rug remains forever! It's a reminder of the old paths, and the worn spots show where generations have walked the aisle to receive Jesus. And besides that, the new color scheme they want to get is horrid, just horrid! I could never worship God standing on such a worldly and God-forsaken pattern. My son-in-law owns a carpet outlet store, and he could have given them my color choice at cost! At least then, good taste would prevail. You'd think that being a Sunday school teacher for 20 years would carry some weight, but noooo, they had to listen to some fancy-schmancy (Makes air quotes with her fingers) "professional" interior decorator.

Refugee #3: Oh, there's more to it than that, of course. We're not that petty. Those same people want new padding in the pews, and to replace the old hymnals with new songbooks! Well, the padding in my pew just fits my backside comfortably, and I don't want to have to break in new ones! And, we've been singing out of the same songbooks for 100 years, and now that's not good enough. It's like my daddy used to say, before his cigarettes killed him: "I'd rather fight than switch!"

(Just then a series of explosions is heard, followed by a loud cracking sound. Everyone ducks a little at the sounds.)

Pamela: (Straining to see what is taking place.) Something's happening! It... it looks as if the church is splitting! Yes, the church has developed a large divide right down the middle, and it's falling apart!

(The previous track continues with the complete destruction of the church. They cower in fear at the fearsome spectacle, with the sounds of timbers breaking, and the building collapses, with screams.)

(NOTE: The tape of Track #20, the continuous background fighting effects, should be faded out as the church collapse track plays.)

Refugee #3: Oh, dear! I knew it was going to happen like this! I told everyone I knew that the church would be ripped apart by those trouble-makers! (She manages to climb to her feet, almost pulling over Pamela as she grabs onto her for support.) Well, nothing left to stay for now. Might as well move on and try to do some good somewhere else. It was time to go anyway, I didn't like the way the pastor had been preaching lately. Compromise is the coward's way. Hallelujah! (She jerks, still holding onto Pamela and jerking her also.) Glory! I felt that! (She slowly walks away, singing "I Shall Not Be Moved." Pamela and Chuck watch her go, her voice fading out in the distance.) I shall not be, I shall not be moved; I shall not be, I shall not be moved; Just like a tree that's planted by the waters, Lord, I shall not be moved!

Pamela: (Looking back in the direction of the church.) The volleys seem to have stopped for now... there's quiet on the battlefield. I wonder if it's over? And if so, who won?

(A man, The Pastor, is helped onto the stage, being supported by two others on either side. His head is bandaged, and an arm is tied up in a makeshift sling. Several others are slowly trailing behind them, in a group of refugees. All appear wounded and exhausted.)

Pamela: A party of survivors is making their way out of the war zone. Excuse me, Pamela Parfay, WWWW TV News. Who are you, and what side are you on?

Pastor: (Wearily.) Who won? Who won. I'll tell you who won. The powers behind this battle.

Pamela: You mean the people who wanted to replace the old carpet, pews and the songbooks?

Pastor: No, they didn't win, either. Everyone lost. Only the devil was the true winner. He's the one behind this conflict, and he's the only one that benefitted from it.

Pamela: But I've been told the conflict came from a disagreement over replacing the carpet. Was there more to the story?

Pastor: The changes that were being discussed were trivial. But self-willful pride, backbiting and a desire for power blew it all out of proportion. I tried to keep the peace, but I ended up getting attacked from both sides, and was caught in the middle. Only a few were responsible for the battle, everyone else became casualities of war.

Pamela: But this was a house of God, how could this happen? Aren't Christians supposed to love one another?

Pastor: Yes, you're right. It's how we're supposed to be known as Christians. A lack of love caused all this. The Bible says, "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." I'm sorry to say they my congregation didn't practice that. Even if it had been something important, like a disagreement over doctrine, it could still have been handled with love, mutual respect and maturity. But to see such a damaging squabble over inconsequential matters makes it even more tragic.

Pastor: Plans? (He almost laughs in a resigned way.) Plans... The plans I had have been blown to smithereens, now.

Little Girl: Preacher... I miss my friends. Can we go back now? I'm not afraid....

(The Pastor looks down at her for a moment, smiling sadly. He squeezes her hand, then kneels down to give her a hug.)

Pastor: (He stands up, with renewed resolution.) I'll tell you what my plans are. What one does in any catastrophe. Rebuild. From the ruins of this destruction, I and the steadfast souls who remain, the church family, will start over and build it up again. We all have friends in this church, and we can't let fear of failure stop us from trying again.

Group: (Various voices, chiming in.) Yes, Pastor, we're with you! Amen, we'll start again!

(The Pastor seems to gain strength from this, and he stands straighter. A small smile comes across his features.)

Pastor: Sometimes you come through a difficult time stronger than you were. With the Lord's help, we'll make it.

Pastor: Friends, let's thank the Lord for sparing us, and ask for His blessings, and His help.

(All bow their heads, and several bend the knee as they pray. Pamela also bows her head in respect.)

Pastor: Heavenly Father, we come to you as we have so many times before, broken and defeated. We admit our part in the difficulties we have had. We repent of the words we have spoken that did not show your love. Help us to forgive, and help others to forgive us. We humbly bring to You the mess we've made, and ask You to take the broken pieces of our lives, and make of them something wonderful, and better than before. Guide us as we rebuild, and help our future to be greater than our past. We ask this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

(The crowd all echo the "amen." All are happier and move with a lighter step, no longer a defeated group, but an excited family.)

Pastor: If you don't mind, Pamela, we're going back to see if there are any left behind that need their wounds tended to.

Pamela: Thank you, Pastor, for your encouraging words in this dark time. And may I say, God bless you.

Pastor: Oh, He has. (To the group.) Let's go do what we have been anointed to do; to preach the gospel to the poor; to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord.

(The group agrees wholeheartedly as they begin to go back in the direction they came in, strengthened and resolute.)

Pamela: (Turning back to the camera.) And so, the battle is over, but the war between the church and her unseen, eternal enemy goes on. If we can come away with anything from observing these events, it may be this: Choosing sides is more than a question of who we agree with in the church, but making a choice between right and wrong. May we all decide on the right path to follow. I'm Pamela Parfay, reporting live from the scene for WWWW TV.

(A few seconds later Chuck nods his head and lowers the camera. He takes the mic from Pamela and wraps the cable up in his hand as they begin to walk away.)

Pamela: (Earnestly.) All I can say is, "Thank God for that," Chuck. Thank God for that.

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