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"He Got Barbara!"

copyight 2002 by Fred Passmore

(Adapted from our national one-minute radio program, "You Gotta Laugh!")

(Play the Skit Bits music open as the players come onto the stage and take their positions.)

(If you are using the Supplemental Skit Trax CD, begin Track #34, the standard skitbit open music.)

(Pastor Shepherd walks onstage and looks around, where he is joined by Dr. Korby, walking in to greet him from the other side of the stage.)

(Dr. Korby may be male or female, which ever works best for you and your cast. Also, the gender of the patients and their lost love can be switched if desired, making the patients women who are distraught over a man named "William." Click here for that version of the script.)

Dr. Korby: (English or British accent) "Hello, Pastor Shepherd, I'm Dr. Korby, the Administrator here at Happydale Sanitarium. I'm glad you could come."

Pastor Shepherd: "Thanks for the invitation. I hope I can be of some help."

Dr. Korby: "Well, we've done all we can, perhaps you'll succeed where our efforts have failed. Let me give you the tour. This wing is for the particularly disturbed patients."

(Dr. Korby takes a few steps to the right front of the stage, followed by the Pastor. He indicates an imaginary door, facing the audience. This has the effect of placing the audience viewpoint behind the patient's doors.)

Dr. Korby continues: "In this room for example, is a sad case."

(An echoing voice can be heard moaning offstage) "Oh, Barbara! Come back!"

Dr. Korby continues: "This man was in love with a girl named Barbara. She jilted him and he never recovered."

Pastor Shepherd: "Poor man!"

(Dr. Korby moves to the center front of the stage and indicates the next patient door, followed by the Pastor.)

Dr. Korby: He's not as bad as this next case. He cries aloud day and night for his lost love."

(You hear another voice crying.) "Barbara, don't leave me! Barbara!"

Dr. Korby: "He was engaged to the same Barbara, but she left him for a man with more money. It broke his heart and his mind."

Pastor Shepherd: "Terribly tragic!"

(Dr. Korby moves to the left front of the stage and presents the last door.)

Dr. Korby: "And this next case is the saddest of all."

(Another voice is heard screaming.) "Oh, Lord, help me! Barbara!"

Pastor Shepherd: "Let me guess. He lost Barbara too!"

Dr. Korby: "Nope. (a beat) He's the one that got her!"

(If you are using the Supplemental Skit Trax CD, begin Track #35, the standard skitbit close music.)

(Music out: "Skit Bits Music Close" Hint: Play the outro music IMMEDIATELY upon the delivery of the last line for maximum impact! Nothing kills a funny moment faster than a flubbed or delayed musical cue! Have the actors beat it offstage as quickly also, as the music begins.)

END

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